Category: Marriage

When Suffering Binds instead of Tears-How We Tell Our Story Part 2

February 22, 2019February 22, 2019 ~ pursuedby ~ 2 Comments

When Josh talks about this time, he tells me he truly wondered if his wife would ever return to him—but more so, would she ever return to God? He knew he couldn’t force or change anything for me, and he knew God was dealing with me. His only job was to love me. It was a very sacrificial love those couple of years.

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“Scars” by I Am They

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A boy + his book + his Rolling Stones shirt. #belovedbygod823 #backatit #soccermom #practice

Happy are the people who KNOW the joyful SHOUT; Lord, they walk in the light from YOUR face. They rejoice in your name all day long, and they are exalted by your righteousness. For YOU are the MAGNIFICENT STRENGTH; by YOUR favor our horn is exalted.—psalm 89 . Aren’t you deliriously thankful that strength comes from the throne of the one whose foundation is righteousness and justice? Whose faithful love and truth goes before us? We don’t have to attempt find it in ourselves, exhausting ourselves only to find ourselves still lacking, still wanting, still needing more strength. It comes from Him alone friends, what a joyful relief. I am empowered through Jesus—he is magnificent strength! . Ps... #zionnationalpark was amazing, and Iz, Lucas and I climbed #AngelsLanding + #mightyTy happily slept on me through it all (except for the end, I did not climb with him up the chains ;)) . #getoutside #adventuretogether #jesus #happy #strength #instagramforjesus #fostercare

It was a weekend of swallowing my words. Of taking back and correcting my words. Of gently and lovingly being corrected about something I said. The rub for me? My intentions were kind, yet I was still wrong. This tug and pull of ‘intention vs. spoken’ has always been painful for me. I ALWAYS feel that if my intentions were good, than it’s not my fault—you misunderstood me, and once I explain that, it should fix it. While I cannot control how others interpret what I say, especially if they are choosing to not believe the best of me, I am responsible to clarify, explain, learn from and grow in how I communicate. Why? Because this is loving communication. This is peace making communication. This is selfless communication. Sometimes this means apologizing for my words that could of been more tender, or clear. Sometimes it means asking forgiveness for unkind or selfish words. Sometimes this means admitting what I said was incorrect. In these moments, my natural, sinful tendency, is to figure out how I can ever prevent this from happening again...just stop leading, just stop teaching, just stop building friendships, I can’t be misunderstood if I don’t talk—all because my pride flares and I feel shame when I have to correct what I’ve said. Yup, just blatant ugliness flaring up in my heart. But worship on Sunday helped me remember and believe what’s true— It’s clear where the work of change has to happen—it’s my heart not my tongue that needs Jesus, because, “out of the heart the mouth speaks.” Our words matter. And when we do sin with our tongue, we need to know the true answer for change. It’s Jesus ALONE. He is the answer to guilt, shame and pride. He is the heart changer and therefore the tongue tamer. So I sit here and speak this thru writing. Knowing I could be misunderstood, and may have to clarify what’s been written. But I’m trusting Jesus’ calling on my life, not myself, my plan, or my wish (at times), to just hide away. Because no matter what God has called you too, it’s clear it’s never to run and hide and try to try to fix yourself with a bunch of rules for self preservation. Jesus’ forgiveness grows courage to keep saying “yes.”

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